Are you feeling stuck? Perhaps you have some goals but you're having trouble getting started on them. You brain keeps finding a million excuses, a million things that need to be done before you can start and then you turn ar ound with no time left, and no progress has been made. So things stay the same. Maybe your brain is trying to tell you something.
Our subconscious processes have an amazing ability to analyze our situation and steer our behavior. Perhaps you're aiming for the wrong goal.
Nobody is better at being you than you.
Somewhere deep down, you have a sense of the best possible version of you. It may be buried under layers of other people’s expectations. But it’s there. You have an innate sense of
the best possible version of you.
But the weird thing is, so many us try to be someone else!
Partly because of influential people in our lives, social media brainwashing or societal and cultural expectations.
Now, don’t get me wrong, modeling an expert’s skills is an amazing way to learn. But trying to be someone, or something fundamentally different than your true nature can be very frustrating. It can create a lot of stress and make things harder.
What Do You Really Want in Your Life? What Are Some Fundamental Long Term Goals?
A lot of what we think we need or want is the result of conditioning. Ask yourself, "what do I really want in life?" If I could do anything and had nobody to answer to, if money was no object, and the only opinion that mattered was mine. If that was the case…then what do I want in my life? Think in a realistically optimistic way. Don’t be concerned at this point about how
you’re going to get it.
Then ask yourself….
What Are Your True Higher Values?
Let’s talk about the things in your life that are most important to YOU. What do you value? These are key motivators and they can either power our success or affect us adversely if our way of life is in conflict with our values. There are higher reasons for most of the things we do. And the more we understand what they are, the more you can live a life that’s in tune with those values. We're not talking about getting the best deal on a new car, or your favorite vacation spot. We're going higher than that. Identify a few things you really want and ask yourself, "why do I want that car, or why do I want all that money? What does that get me?" and keep asking "what does that get me" or "why is that important to me" until you arrive at the highest level of values. Note which is the highest as well as the next couple down.
Some examples: Family Honesty Being Part of a Community Independence Unconditional Love Being a Force for Good in the World
Spiritual Evolution Self Realization
To Serve My True Purpose
And now the rubber hits the road...
Are Your Long Term Goals In Line with Your True Higher Values?
The thing is…there are many different ways to satisfy those higher values. Be flexible in your thinking about how to live by these values. For example, a ballet dancer and an arts administrator can both bring art and joy into the world. An insurance broker can offer security and a degree of protection to families, their loved ones and the community.
There are many different ways to honor the higher values in your life, but the higher values themselves are not things that can be easily swapped out. So it’s a good idea to know what your higher values are and to honor them. Give this some thought and possibly make some adjustments to your long term goals if appropriate.
What Do You Have to Work With?
What resources both internal and external are available to you to help you reach your goals? Look for opportunities right under your nose. Keep a flexible outlook.
What skills and resources do you already have?
(smart, loyal, persistent, detail oriented, loving, kind, determined, fair honest, cunning, brave, outgoing, existing contacts, influential friends, membership in organization, money, location, equipment)
What skills and resources do you want to develop?
Vividly Imagine Your Ideal Outcome (Target State) Regularly
So, taking all this into consideration, you can start to bring a vision of that outcome into focus. Set aside a few minutes of quiet time regularly to think about what it would be like if this target state was your reality right now. Be there. See, hear, feel, wh
at you'd experience as much as you can. Where are you, who is with you? The more sensory systems you use to imagine this, the more power the process has.
An interesting result of this process is that you may begin to notice things you hadn't noticed before. People, situations, products, behaviors that are either in harmony with your highest values or not. You'll certainly feel a pull towards the things that are in harmony. You’re teaching your subconscious what you want and providing information it can use to help you get it.
If you've read this far, a seed has been planted. I'd urge you to go back over this article and spend a little time on each step. If the process resonates, keep doing it. You'll like what happens.
Gary Schwantes, CCH, CHt, MFA, Clinical Hypnotherapist